As I’ve dissected many experiences from my past where I’ve either experienced judgement based on the color of my skin or have benefited from privileges I hadn’t ever realized, I am grateful for a new level of awareness I hadn’t had before.
In order to understand why we feel what we feel and what drives our emotions, we have to be made aware of where it all stems from first. Growth and healing starts with awareness and acceptance.
With that said, I realized a lot of my feelings of unworthiness came from growing up in predominantly white areas, constantly feeling like I could never fit in no matter how hard I tried. Growing up, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 seemed more beautiful, more successful, and all-around 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳.
In order to actively advocate, we need to understand the experiences that have shaped our current thought-processes and remove toxic ideas.
I was so hesitant to post this picture for a number of reasons. Would people judge me for my moments of reflection? Would people discredit my experiences? Would people notice I’ve gained weight? And the list goes on.
Wild right? All these thoughts framed around posting a photo and the opinions other people 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 have. It’s enough to drive you crazy and silence yourself in a corner.
It was through this thought process that I realized something: 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝.
I needed to quiet my own noise and get back to the hope that drives me and the faith that leads me.
As I speak from the heart, I own the fact that I am a 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 Puerto Rican woman, I am 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 of 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞, and 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲, and I will not allow my past experiences or anyone who crosses my path, tell me otherwise.
So, don’t let any negative thought- whether it comes from yourself or someone else, misguide you in who you are and the promises God has for you.